A Life Changing Year Ends Full-Circle
After losing her job and spiraling into debt, Abby Tegnelia found herself living in a small Costa Rica village for a year. It was the life change she needed to recharge and fall in love with her career all over again.
The logistics of how I ended up living in a small pueblo in Costa Rica for a year were a happy accident, one small step that led to another, leading me to the life change that I so desperately needed. I had been a workaholic. But that lifestyle started to wear on me, leaving me impatient and unhappy, confused as to why the magazine career I had always wanted had left me wound so tight, yet empty.
I lost my job in October 2008, and my world seemingly ended. Like so many other career-focused men and women, I had let my identity forge itself to my career. I was my title. And then it was gone.
It was a long time before I could get out of my lease and put a stop to my expensive bills in Los Angeles. I dove into debt, something I’d worked so hard to never do. Still, I did not reach out to every contact I had or pound the pavement looking for a job.
If I had, I would have restarted the same life that I so needed to pull away from. Sure, I freelanced to make money, but I also cried a lot during marathons of CSI. Then my TV broke. No one said change was easy.
The two things I’ll give myself the most credit for: even if I was too upset to articulate it, I know deep down that I did not want to go back to where I’d been. When I landed a similar job, I walked out after a month, even though I was absolutely broke. The job was simply not for me. That experience left me even emptier and more scared than before. But it was comforting, too, knowing that even if I didn’t know what I wanted, I knew what I didn’t.
The second thing is that there was no way I was going to waste a good recession. The cheapest way possible, I went whale watching in Mexico, visited a friend in Borneo for a month, and visited Italy, France and Germany with a friend. Little did I know that these travels eventually led me to a life- changing year, one that led me full-circle in a way I never expected.
My fourth post-lay-off trip was planned for Costa Rica. It was to be my last trip, my airline miles dried up. I was leaving after my lease was finally over, so I could throw everything into storage and not have an expensive rent hanging over my head. I was to stay with friends for a month and then figure out what to do next.
Those friends ended up lasting about two months in Costa Rica; by the time they left town, I had moved into a tiny one-room house in a modest Tico neighborhood on a dirt road. It was to be the happiest year of my life.
In 12 months, I learned to get good, sound sleep for the first time I could remember. I lived so frugally (my rent was $150 a month) that I was able to start my own company, using borrowed wireless from across the “street,” to pay off all of my debt and actually start to save money again. My stress melted away, after many, many nights of girl talk with my new neighbors, having no TV or even a phone for a long time, mornings waking up to howling monkeys... I etched out a fantastic life for myself, and I no longer cared about that silly career as a magazine editor that I’d always held onto so tightly.
I’d enjoyed my years in the high-paced world of publishing and then mourned when it was over. And then I’d started my next chapter, as a travel junkie/small business owner, an expat who finally slept well and had all the time in the world to study (Spanish) and hang out with her friends.
And then, just like that, that world ended, too. I was on a dream vacation in Nicaragua when I got a fateful email, with a job offer I couldn’t refuse. Within weeks, I was living in Las Vegas, my year as an expat but a happy memory.
It turns out that I needed a complete life restart, and my career break gave that to me. I needed to know that I am not my job, that life goes on even when you’re not working, that I can separate my career self from every other part of me. I date nicer guys now, and I know that my inner peace and happiness are noticeable.
My career is again the love of my life, but I no longer hold onto it so desperately. I am happy, and in awe over the fact that stripping down to the simplest lifestyle led me straight to my dream job in a very cutthroat business. I don’t understand how or why it all worked out that way.
But it did.
Abby Tegneglia chronicled her year in Costa Rica on her website, The Jungle Princess, and now updates it from life in the “Neon Jungle” of Las Vegas. You can also follow her on Twitter at @AbbyTegnelia
29 Responses to “A Life Changing Year Ends Full-Circle”
Other comments
9 Comments on "A Year in Paris"-
Leah on Mon, 6th Jun 2011 8:12 am
I really enjoyed reading your post. I am thirty-two soon and have itchy feet that are ready to try out foreign soils.
It is a fear of leaving the security of the day to day grind of paying the bills and living a safe and non-challenging way of life that has put me on hold for some time.
I hope (as it has I) your post will inspire others to go and follow their bliss – Leah 🙂 -
Patricia GW on Mon, 6th Jun 2011 8:54 am
Travel and experiencing a new culture really has put it into perspective, and filled that void with purpose (and joy).
In three weeks I’ll be moving to Paris myself for one month. I have the same feeling – the incredible surreal realization that I’m going to be living there…. it’s thrilling!!
-
Abby on Mon, 6th Jun 2011 2:11 pm
Oh, Jenny! Escargot isn’t palatable — it’s delicious! I love your writing style; it’s so fun and energetic. Can you believe how far we’ve come? Everyone, Jenny and I were in the exact same industry and have known each other online and via work emails for years and years. But we’ve only met once, many, many years ago. And one of those jobs she was sleeping next to her BlackBerry for was one I’d just left. And now she’s 33 and living abroad, just like I was last year. Kindred spirits. Jenny, you’re a true inspiration — I can’t wait to see how your adventure unfolds!
-
Debbie Beardsley on Mon, 6th Jun 2011 3:22 pm
Your life in Paris sounds ideal. It is nice to read about people who follow their dreams instead of wishing they had! Enjoy the rest of your journey.
-
Terriaw on Tue, 7th Jun 2011 1:40 pm
Wow, fabulous and well said! I love your new outlook on like. After experiencing career burnout and feeling a little lost and purposeless lately, you have encouraged me. I look forward to seeing Paris someday!
-
Jenny on Tue, 7th Jun 2011 6:50 pm
merci for all the sweet comments! @abby we are soooo kindred spirits! well except when it comes to our differing feelings on escargot…;) and congrats patricia on the move! thrilling indeed!
-
shawna on Thu, 9th Jun 2011 1:32 am
you’ve reawakened my travel bug. must. return. to. france. (someday.) eat a croissant for me!
-
Weekly Travel Blog Links — LandingStanding on Mon, 13th Jun 2011 6:16 am
[…] how badly I want to go to Paris… If only we could afford living there for an extended period of time during our travels! Any […]
-
G. Michael Schneider on Sun, 19th Jun 2011 3:36 pm
I am a firm believer in living and working overseas, just as you described. However, many of us actually like our jobs and our homes and are simply looking to renew and refresh our lives, not change it. However, you can have the same type of cultural experience without having to reach into your own wallet and without having to quit your day job–by taking what I call a “working vacation.” My wife and I have done this 15 separate times, from Australia to Zimbabwe, Turket to Tibet, Mauritius to Mongolia. I describe how to do it in my blog otherguysdime.wordpress.com and via Twitter at @otherguysdime. Learn how to have fun without having to have burn any of your bridges behind you.
2011-04-25 12:00
Love hearing your story, every time I read it, Abby. And that photo of you is amazing.
2011-04-25 13:04
I love this story. I so want to do the same, just throw my hands up in the air and live in a Costa Rican hut for a year or more!!!
2011-04-25 14:04
Excellent post Abby! Inspirational to many people out there unhappy with their careers or laid off and wondering what to do next with their lives.
2011-04-25 15:23
What a great story Abby and hugely inspirational.
It's so easy to let a job define you (especially when you're a careerist) and also easy to forget the more simple pleasures in life.
Glad you were able to refresh, recharge and resume your career with a dream job - surely the best of both worlds!
2011-04-25 15:49
Thanks for sharing such a personal story. It was an inspirational read and perfect for a Monday.
I've added this post to my Inspirational Pages folder in my bookmarks. I'll be back again to read it when I need a reality check.
Cheers!
2011-04-25 16:29
I know this story like the back of my hand and still enjoy reading about it in different words every time! =)
2011-04-25 17:21
Aw, thank you so much, everyone! Sarah, it was so great to meet you in Manchester -- so happy to hear from you!
Ken, so good to meet you -- that's such an honor, thank you so much.
Michaela, thank you so much for letting me write for your site. What an amazing day!
2011-04-25 19:08
just like Michael, it never gets old reading about your story. It really is an inspiration.
2011-04-25 19:14
Abby, you are amazing. I admire you're ability to be open-minded enough take in all these experiences, and go from a point in your life that seemed lost in limbo to a point where you are, well, found :)
I hope to follow in your footsteps as I'm building up my foundation to move abroad again in 6 months and I'm 95% sure I myself will be moving to a small pueblo in Costa Rica.
This is my 1st time on your blog, and I'm glad to be here!
- LAUR :D
2011-04-25 19:20
What an incredible journey you've had, what a liberating feeling to be at Peace with yourself no matter where your at in the world or in your life. Thank you for sharing you are such an inspiration XoXOX
2011-04-25 20:45
Even though I too already knew this story I LOVED reading it again Abby. You are such an inspiration to me and so many others. Lots of LOVE!!!!
2011-04-25 20:56
Love this Abby! :)
2011-04-25 22:43
Abby, the honour is mine. I adore reading about strong people who have the courage to live their lives in a way that inspires me to keep doing what I love. I need the reminder, it's not always easy. So thanks again!
Will you be in Innsbruck in August for TBUIBK? I'm doing a guided photowalk tour of the city. It would be nice to meet you if you're going to be there.
2011-04-25 22:47
Abby, Never got to really know you like I wanted to.... the bario is still the bario, but much less without you. I wish you only the best in the future.. you are a bright light... carry on...
Sam
2011-04-26 05:24
Great to meet you too Abby - I'm even more impressed now I know your story! Hope you can make it to TBUIBK. Ken, I'm on your tour - looking forward to it!
2011-04-26 11:25
Abby you're such an inspiration who don't realize setbacks are actually opportunities.
2011-04-26 17:29
You are super inspirational, Abby! Don't ever forget it! :)
2011-04-26 19:30
Great story Abby! Proof that sometimes you gotta follow your heart to find your zen.
2011-04-26 20:05
It is a great story indeed, still remember when you told me about it for the interview in MaiTravelSite!
2011-04-27 15:57
what a great story abby! what is especially helpful to me right now is how even when things looked grim, you had the courage not to settle for more of that which you had left. i have a favorite quote- "It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."(W. Somerset Maugham). seems like by not settling, you were open to getting the best...and you got it. congrats and thanks for the inspiration :)
2011-04-27 18:46
So great, Abby! love this!
2011-04-27 19:53
I love hearing about this Abby. I am so happy that this brought peace to your life. :D
2011-04-30 13:12
[...] A Life-changing Year Ends Full Circle This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL. « Why I traveled 5070 miles to go to TBU [...]
2011-04-30 15:36
Man, this is SUCH a great story. I love it. Reinvigoration.
2011-04-30 21:13
[...] On Meet, Plan, Go, The Jungle Princess blogger Abby Tegnelia talks about how quitting her high-stress job and moving to Costa Rica for a year helped her to reassess her life. [...]
2011-05-01 12:39
Wow look at all of these awesome comments! You totally deserve every one of them my love. XOXO
2011-05-02 01:01
I love Abby! Can't wait to hang out with her again hopefully in Austria!!! If not Vegas first :)
2011-05-05 18:42
Elsewhere you've written 'Don't wait - just DO IT' as a general philosophy. And you're absolutely a testament to the power of that approach. As your story so clearly shows.
A real honour to know you and, finally, to have met you last month, Abby. :)
2011-06-09 15:18
Wow, what an incredible read. I quit my job/career and took an around the world trip for a year and upon returning have seen my whole life and identity flipped further upside down. How I feel sounds similar to how you were as debt piled up and life just didn't make sense. Thanks for sharing your inspirational story.